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I'm Joel Mo Jiaming. Born in 1986, 22nd July. Speaking about birthdays when I say 'it's alright' or 'anything's fine', don't take my word for it. What I really meant was 'get me ANYTHING nice and expensive, it's FINE if you get broke, I don't really care. Hah. Kidding duh.
Occupation? Defending Singapore from the scum of the universe. I rule the battlefield with my trusty telephone! NO COMMS NO WAR! RAHH
I believe in JESUS, the one true saviour. No witty comment needed here, cuz just mentioning his name is already oh so cool.
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I don't really have anything to showcase now. But don't worry this part HERE is still under construction. I promise i'll work hard and earn myself the right to wear Mabel's cool shirt. (:
ADIEU, ADIEU

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The life of a boy standing at the crossroads between anger, loneliness, depression and eternal life.

In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and crying and howling like an animal, but there was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the face and lips and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smiled and kept moving. If I could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door, I would have done so. But I was going to sleep at night and wake in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence.

Sometimes I daydream. Reminiscing on innocent times, wondering what went wrong before I snap back to cold reality.

The me who was screaming was so far inside nobody knew he was even there at all. Even I forgot that he was there, until one day I got into the car - I had to go to the market, I had decided, to bring back some apples - and I went past the store that sold apples and I kept driving, and driving. I was going north and west, because if I went south or east I would run out of roads too soon.

A couple of hours, or so it felt, down the expressway my cellphone started to ring. I wound down the window and threw the cellphone out. I wondered who would find it, whether they would answer the phone and find themselves gifted with my bleak life.

I could not find a radio station that would hold my interest. Eventually I pressed the scan button on the radio and just left it on, left it scanning from channel to channel in a relentless quest for signal, scurrying from pop to classical to sermons to gossip, three seconds a station with plenty of static in between.

Over and over. It washed over me, driving through the day, on the roads. Just driving and driving.


... End of introduction ...

8:03 PM