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LOVE

You know how it is when you love someone?

And the hard part, the bad part, the what the world?! part is that you never stop loving someone. There's always a piece of them in your heart.

Now that she is gone, she tries to remember only the love. She imagines every blow a kiss, the makeup that inexpertly covers the bruises, the cigarette burn on her thigh - all these things, she decides, were gestures of love.

She wonders what her daughter will do.

She wonders what her daughter will be.

She is holding a cake. It is the cake she was always going to bake for her little one. Maybe they would have it baked together.

They would have sat and eaten it and smiled, all three of them, and the apartment would have slowly filled with laughter and with love.

12:23 AM

Did all these quizes found on justin's blog. Haha. I'm bored!

How highly do you think of yourself? Your Result: High on the outside You look in the mirror and know that looks don't matter and know you are fine just the way you are. However, you are not happy with who you are and no matter what you do, it just never seems right. But don't give up on yourself, there's a great person just waiting to come out!
High on the inside
Too low
Too high
How highly do you think of yourself? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

No I don't! I'm very humble one ok. Haha

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Literature Nerd
Social Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Drama Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Yeah! Musician.. That's so cool.. Haha

what color is your inner spirit? Your Result: Your inner self is green You tend to hide---a lot. You are not exactly very open to many about your feelings, and not nessicarily out of shyness. You tend to be longful and envious of other people's abilities and lives, or you are just very observant and would rather watch than dance to life. The cool thing about you is that when it comes to strategy you are a king, and many times if you open up would probably make a great actor/actress.
Your inner self is yellow
Your inner self is Orange!
Your inner self is Red!
Your inner self is Purple!
Your inner self is brown
Your inner self is Blue
what color is your inner spirit? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Ermm.. Righttttt....

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks! Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract Yuppies!
You attract unstable people!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Damn! I don't want to attract geeks! I wanna attract artsy people or models! Hahaha..

Your score on this personality test was 71%

Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural lead, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

Yeah.. I scored higher than justin on personality. Hah!

10:35 PM

O gone the music!
On an innocent Tuesday
Thy dying calls heard, sudden like summer rain
Crashed o' faithful computer!
All left nothing, its wake left desolation
From indie to pop, country to rock
From elementary till date
are the compilations, a decade
Gone they are with a single power trip
Never shall they be retrieved again

An ode to my compilation of a decade of songs which got lost in a crash. A whole whooping 10gb+ chunk of songs and a whole hard disk of data were gone due to lack of archiving. Unpleasant realization on the importance of archiving. It's a lesson to me and a reminder to you guys to archive your important documents periodically. ):

6:36 PM

Wow. I just realised that this is my 401st post! Imba. Haha.

Today, my good friend Nelson left for Australia to study, and the class of '86 has been reduced to just Nicolas Wong and me. Sad isn't it? What happened to everyone? Melissa Chang, Angela Tang and Samuel Wong left church. Samuel Chan and Nelson Cheong are currently studying in Australia. I don't think I've left out anyone. Have I?

As I look back at happier, innocent and carefree times, I can't help but regret the things which were left undone and words which were left unsaid. What happened to us? Weren't we close friends back then? Could things have been done better to prevent people from leaving our family?

Questions flood my mind, with no answers in sight. I walk by faith, believing is seeing. One day, God will give me the answers I seek whether it be on Earth or in Heaven. I believe it.

What is my life's purpose intended by God? I believe it has nothing to do with what I've intended for myself, absolutely nothing. Is that why I feel so out of place? So burnt out? I think life is meaningless. Without the friends that I have now, I feel I would've broken down a long time ago.

Why Lord have you created us this way? I would very much like being a robot for You, things would be so much easier. But oh wells, all in Your perfect plan huh. I do not understand, but Lord have Your way.

Sometimes I think it's really impossible to be Christ-like. To even have 1% of 'Christ-like'ness would have been really imba for me. The idea of being Christ-like is really too far to grasp for me right now. I am so flawed and sinful, how can I possibly be Christ-like? May the Lord's mercy and grace be upon me.

Jesus's blood washed over our sins, and the victory has been won. He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. It just brings me great peace and joy to know that.

Ranting about everything and nothing. It's 0145hrs now, and I'm very very tired. Waiting for the bunch of them to finish their game of DOTA and I'm running out of things to write. As I've pondered all these issues in the past half an hour, may it make you think too. I believe it's good to make enquiry of the Lord, add some much needed focus to life. And the bunch of them are finally done, I will be joining them for a game before hitting the sack.

Ciao~

12:58 AM

I feel at a lost.
I don't know what to do.

):

10:42 PM

If I Ever

If I ever live to be a hundred
Lord would I understand?
How You do the things You do

If I ever fly a jet above the clouds
Would I see You on Your throne?
Looking down with loving eyes

If I ever walk across the swimming pool
Would I have the faith to try?
I should probably take off my shoes

If I ever promise to be good every day
Would You give me a brand new car?
If not… well… I still love You

If I ever were a rock or a tree, or a dog or a cat
I’d sing Your praises every day, because You made me like that
But You made me with a great big brain, and two fancy thumbs
And a heart to follow You, even when I’m acting dumb

It’s just my way to always wonder
And to ponder what You say
But You should know I want to thank You
For making me this way

If I ever live to be a hundred
Lord would I understand?
If not… well… I still love You

9:13 PM

Dumb quotes from the late John Lennon. Legend of The Beatles.

- Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl`s best beauty aid is still a near-sighted man. (LOL?!)

- [Asked by a reporter if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world]: In the world? He`s not even the best drummer in The Beatles! (Lol. Ringo Starr kena owned! Any fans out there?)

- Will all the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you`ll just rattle your jewelry. [At Royal Variety Performance 4th November 1963]

- Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn`t argue about that, I`m right and will be proved right. We`re (the Beatles) more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It`s them twisting it that ruins it for me. I don`t know which will go first, rock and roll or Christianity. (to London`s Evening Standard, 1966)

- (looking back on his "more popular than Jesus" comment) I always remember to thank Jesus for the end of my touring days. (Self-owned!)

- Love means having to say you`re sorry every fifteen minutes.

- Before Elvis there was nothing.

- If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there`d be peace. (This quote is pretty decent.)

- [On the song "Mother"] A lot of people thought it was just about my parents, but it`s about ninety-nine percent of the parents, alive or half-dead. (What happened to the other 1% ?!)

- All we are saying is give peace a chance. (And look where you ended up?)

8:40 PM

What country do I belong to? Your Result: You belong in Italy!!! You are very diffrent and your personality ranges from how you feel sometimes. Every day there is something else to find and variety is a big factor in your life. You like the old, rustic but yet sophisticated look to things. (You mixed up pup, you!) You are friendly and you love the idea of making a new friend just by walking through the door. When you are in love, you like to impress, especially with gifts. Indulging in your senses is wonderful but just make sure you don't do it too much, you might get bored with it and want something new in a short amount of time.
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville....Arrrriba!
You belong in Paris...
Born and Bred in the USA!
G'day, Mates! Austrailia sound like a go?
You belong in Jamaica, mon!
Bonichiwa! Japan is the place for you!
Beauty, eh? Canada has a place for ya, get me?
What country do I belong to? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Interesting. Answer's the same as Ethel. Haha.

'When you are in love, you like to impress, especially with gifts.' I find this part very true. But as I've learnt in the 5 languages of love (Go read the book it's really interesting) not everyone appreciates this way of expressing love. They might value some other expressions of love and thus making you feel that your feelings are not reciprocated.

Bottom line. Opposites attract? Yeah.. Attracts misunderstanding if you don't communicate that is. Hah

7:48 PM